HONEY! I'M HOME!
Big thanks goes out to for helping me get a 3 month sub so I can change my username ^^ massive props, to ya, man! Everyone go check out Sunflower's page! He's an awesome friend I made along this long journey to coming out to you all!
Anyone wanna help spread this? If so, link to this post in a journal entry! If you believe me, then I would be VERY grateful that you help spread this truth around!
Also: apparently you can change your name now in this website? If I wasn't paranoid about giving DeviantArt my money, I'd consider buying a sub to do so.....hmmm....anyone wanna trade me a sub for a commission? xD
SO...I leave, and then I get fakers...ALL the people harassing poor old
for RPs and requests and shit like that...
You losers that do that can be real assholes, y'know? -_-;;I believe this would be what you all call a "comeback" post...
And before you guys start saying shit, YES, this is the REAL Manjiska D'Luo (aka )
I've told several people before this, but to tell everyone now like this...it seems much, much harder...tl;dr version: Manji is back, I am Manji. If you want more info, read below. This is a long journal, so you have been warned!
Where to start...It's hard to pick any one point in time to start talking except close to the start of my time online...the time when I first started using the name Manji-luo...
By now some of you may have noticed something odd about this account...I'm listed as male...That, my friends, is no accident. I am, have been, and always will be a man. Some of you may have caught on, some of you may have guessed, but the fact of the matter is that I've lied to you all.
So let's start from the beginning...Shortly after I coined the name "Manjiska D'luo" in a short-lived game of D&D with some of my brother's friends. Some time after that, they, and my brother, convinced me to get into Star Wars Galaxies...At the time, I looked quite similar to Shaggy from Scooby Doo....the cartoon show version, not the movie version...I had wanted to make an avatar in Star Wars Galaxies (aka SWG) that looked a lot like Shaggy, but I was having trouble. My brother had been waiting for me, and was getting impatient and rushed me into making a character.
A few of you that remember me may remember the fact that when rushed into doing things, I always complete them successfully...but with slightly less-than-expected results...This was true for my younger self, but I am not so sure it remains true for me now...Regardless, I, only in high school at the time, decided to roll a female character...for some stupid reason...
This proved to be a stupid idea, as my brother quickly latched onto this and asked me if he should start referring to me as his little sister around the people he knew on SWG. I agreed, like the fool I was, and began to start introducing myself as a girl, with the caveat that I was a boy in real life....I quickly grew tired of the awkwardness that came from that and began to just call myself a girl flat out...my big mistake was continuing to tell people that I was a girl from there on afterwards....
I flat out lied to people online all this time...I've only recently begun to start telling people I was a guy and not really a girl. This would not be so much of a problem to me, except for two small things....the first being that a lot of people came to confide their secrets in me, and even trusted me, because I was a girl....the other, being that a fair share of people online are either insane or very, VERY unforgiving. (I'm honestly not going to be surprised if people start trolling me and flaming me because of this).
I fear I may have already incurred the wrath of several people just by making this post, but I assure you that I did not do this of ill will. I love helping people, and played through the charade for some people simply because they looked like they needed someone to be there for them and help them out in their times of weakness...Sadly, I've been unable to keep this up throughout the years, and I fear it has cost me the wrath of those people.
But I had intended to come out and tell people all along...one of my closest friends online, one that started with me in SWG, and kept loosely in touch with me all throughout the 8 or 9 years that this facade has been going on, was the first one, and the biggest one, I had wanted to come out to...she was one of the hardest to convince out of the people I've told so far...But I'd tried to convince her beforehand as well...
Admittedly, the few times I -HAD- tried to tell her, I came off too weak and had tried to break it to her easily...that definitely failed, as I was unable to convince her, and the other close friends of mine and hers around at the times...Yes, I had tried multiple times. I wanted to try and break it to people easily, but how can you do something like that...how can you tell the people you know and love that you've been lying this entire time to them?
When I left DeviantArt, and admittedly, the online community in August of last year, the circumstances were a bit...odd..
You see, I had been wanting to come out to people, or at least leave the expansion community online for a long while...Just so that people would know about me, and not the mask of an OC that I hid behind. That reason came with my girlfriend back in August of last year...the one I shall refer to as my "big ex"...
I call her such, because she really WAS big for me, in a lot of ways...she opened my eyes to the world, broke the closed-mindedness I had in a lot of things, and chipped away at some insecurities while exposing me to things I had never had before....At the time of this writing, she was my longest girlfriend I have ever had, and she was my first lover.
She eventually found out about all of the roleplaying I had done online, and saw this as cheating....and rightly so: One would not have sex with another person while in a committed relationship with someone, so why should that person RP the act of intercouse with another while in that same committed relationship with that same special someone?
She forbade me to go back to DeviantArt, but knew that I had made a lot of good friends on here...and that's true! I've made friends with a lot of people that I really like and love talking to! I could not leave completely, even if I wanted to! But she wanted me to stop and to leave who I was....so...I went into exile, under this screen name.
Admittedly, I did what every good /b/tard should do, and decided to lurk moar....Sadly, after lurking for a good 8 months, I could not take it anymore...I saw all of my friends, all of the people I knew still talking and interracting with each other, and still saw their art...and I wanted to just reach out and talk to them and say hi...but I knew not how...The only way I could see fit was to do what I had intended to do all along...I had to come clean.
I come to you all, not as a woman, but as a man....as a liar, wishing to repent for his past sins. Although I do not see myself as very religious, these days, I still see this chapter in my life as one that should be titled as such...not because I used to be very catholic, but simply because I feel I have wronged so many people...ones that trusted me, and that I even trusted in turn.
I feel horrible for doing so, but I really just want to have all of my friends back...I want them to know me as the man I am...
Despite me lying to you all about my gender, there are very few other things I have honestly lied about this whole time to everyone...ever since I got my laptop a few years ago, I have had a web cam and a mic...I didn't know how to work it at first, because I chose not to, but I've still had it and I still do use it a few times for Skype calls with certain people....I also have skype.
I'm also an avid gamer with a love for video games. Given this point, you would think that I would at least be able to put forth the money for some current-gen systems to play...In all honesty, I've had them all this time. I had an Xbox 360 ever since I graduated from high school, that I bought on my own. I did not have it with me all the time, but I still had that...I traded it in for a PS3 when it red-ringed in December of 2010 (kind of a rough winter for me as a gamer, since I both lost my 360 that I had put a lot of money into, as well as having my PC get fried in an electrical storm only a few weeks afterwards!!) ((As a side note on losing my PC, I've lost most, if not all of the old drawings people had sent to me over IMs or photobucket, but not actually posted on DeviantArt...combine that with my shitty memory, and I have lost a whole lot of old things to help remind me of who people are and what things happened with whom...this has made it incredibly hard to convince a couple of the few people that I had told about my gender beforehand,
So I'm a guy, I've had a web cam and a microphone for a while, and I've had an Xbox and Xbox live account (which I no longer use), a PS3 with a PSN account, and even a steam account...Given that I was that much of a gamer, and a girl, yet denied people the right to see me or speak with me, that seemed like a pretty big hoax/scam to pull off of some...and for that, I apologize.
But my personality and who I am have not changed. I may have created Manji, but the concept of her originally was, and always will be, to have my personality infused in her...I made her to be a visible avatar for me online, and to make friends with people...
I am not here to ask for free art, or to manipulate people into giving me free art. I honor artists that do free requests, and will no longer beg for free requests. If I see someone doing free requests, I may ask them for one, but I have a job, and I can pay for any art I wish to have done of Manji from now on, if need be.
I still graduated with a degree in Geology, and I'm still the person you all came to know and love...A few years have passed since I was active in the community, but I am the same person I was....Am I wiser? Maybe....Am I smarter? That is definitely questionable...but the important thing is that I have learned from my mistakes, and wish to remedy this and learn from those mistakes.
I am returning and bringing Manji back into the community once again...but this time, she shall be a rightful OC and not the real me...I am a man, and will not deny that anymore, but I hope that some of you will forgive me for still seeing her as a bit of me...after all, her personality WAS mine when I spoke and mingled amongst you all, and I HAD
been doing this for almost close to a decade, up until now...It's not easy to forget your past sins, especially if they were something so closely apart of you, like Manji and all of my online activities were to me...But really, I just want my friends back, and I simply ask for forgiveness...
To all of you still reading, I have come back for all of my friends...you know who you are, and I have really, really missed you. I am really sorry for lying to all of you, but I could not stand being aloof for any longer because I wanted to keep you all as friends.
I no longer wish to roleplay with people, but I am willing to open myself up to conversation. I have a wonderful girlfriend, and have moved on from my big ex, but I feel she was needed...for much more than just setting this whole thing into motion.
As I am coming back, I feel this will make for some big changes...what exactly will change, I do not know, but I wish for this to be expressed even through my OC's attire and wardrobe. As such, I have already commissioned a few people to work on the new look. You may have seen it up above, but once again,
has provided for a lovely character reference for Manji.
Say hello to Majiska D'Luo....the NEW Manji!
Same old look, but with a bit of a newer style and flare! To all my friends I left: I've missed you!
To everyone I've lied to: I am terribly sorry for doing being dishonest to you! >.<
To everyone that's played League of Legends:
SURPRISE! I'm back!! ;D